Thank you for this powerfully written piece Stephanie. I have just shared it with my MP as he will be voting on Friday on whether assisted dying is to be legalised in the UK. As as fellow cholangiocarcinoma patient I too want to have this thread of sovereignty.
Hi Stephanie. What an exceptionally powerful read. I remember before I entered palliative care the pain had gotten so bad that I decided I didn’t want to live like that. Taking a drive to Boston, we met with my attorneys and my psychiatrist who prescribed me (along with several doctors) enough meds to end my life. It took about three months to draw everything up (we don’t have anything like NY here in NH yet, though we did just pass a “medical aid in dying” bill) and when I finally had everything, I organized the meds and held everything my lap. I remember thinking, “this will help end the pain.” I cried from grief, anger, and finally solace. Eventually the palliative team at Pemi Baker came and convinced me I could still live under my own rules, and end it in my own way, if things got worse. What a remarkable moment holding those medicines in my hand. What a profound moment that was, thinking about things I’d never thought would be an issue. It is still a solace knowing that med bag in my flight bag can provide me with a path that I can still choose should I desire. I’m very glad I got to extend my life, and equally happy you have too. What an amazing journey it has been walking the path with you. I’m sorry I’m not nearly as eloquent as you, but thank you for baring your emotions and sharing your thoughts. It has made my struggle all that more enriching. Sending my love. - Tom
Stephanie, this is stunning—so honest, grounded, and deeply moving. You’ve taken such a hard, sacred topic and offered it with clarity, courage, and compassion. Your words remind us that choice is about dignity and presence, not control. Thank you for sharing your path so openly—it’s a gift to everyone learning how to live, and love, more fully. On t'aime ❤️
My dear, deliberate, fierce and awake friend.....the lines you've written almost in meter - line breaks, spaces, dashes - your soul is showing: the poet has emerged. I'm not sure if you've written in this way intentionally, but, as I've commented in your last few posts, the lyrical language you've grown into is distinct from the decisive way you've communicated since I met you in back in the day. I walk in the halls of these lines with you, as you have opened a door for all of us to be, in this 21st century of limitless connection, with you. Your expanse has made room for us all. I love you so....
The grace and awareness you exude in walking this delicate path is both fierce and yet so incredibly delicate. Not many words, just a deep witnessing and a quiet reverence of your journey.
Thank you Stephanie, for this very intimate glimpse into such a sensitive and personal subject. I personally know many people who had a valid prescription to help them die but never used it. A kind of Plan B.
It has always puzzled me that the very loving gesture we offer our suffering pets, to shuttle them out of misery near the end of their lives is something that we take for granted but that to have that option for ourselves is somehow still fairly taboo. Thank you for adding to the conversation about this very important subject.
Thank you for this powerfully written piece Stephanie. I have just shared it with my MP as he will be voting on Friday on whether assisted dying is to be legalised in the UK. As as fellow cholangiocarcinoma patient I too want to have this thread of sovereignty.
What beautifully stated insights about the importance of MAID and having options about end of life. Thanks as ever for opening my eyes.
Hi Stephanie. What an exceptionally powerful read. I remember before I entered palliative care the pain had gotten so bad that I decided I didn’t want to live like that. Taking a drive to Boston, we met with my attorneys and my psychiatrist who prescribed me (along with several doctors) enough meds to end my life. It took about three months to draw everything up (we don’t have anything like NY here in NH yet, though we did just pass a “medical aid in dying” bill) and when I finally had everything, I organized the meds and held everything my lap. I remember thinking, “this will help end the pain.” I cried from grief, anger, and finally solace. Eventually the palliative team at Pemi Baker came and convinced me I could still live under my own rules, and end it in my own way, if things got worse. What a remarkable moment holding those medicines in my hand. What a profound moment that was, thinking about things I’d never thought would be an issue. It is still a solace knowing that med bag in my flight bag can provide me with a path that I can still choose should I desire. I’m very glad I got to extend my life, and equally happy you have too. What an amazing journey it has been walking the path with you. I’m sorry I’m not nearly as eloquent as you, but thank you for baring your emotions and sharing your thoughts. It has made my struggle all that more enriching. Sending my love. - Tom
Stephanie, this is stunning—so honest, grounded, and deeply moving. You’ve taken such a hard, sacred topic and offered it with clarity, courage, and compassion. Your words remind us that choice is about dignity and presence, not control. Thank you for sharing your path so openly—it’s a gift to everyone learning how to live, and love, more fully. On t'aime ❤️
My dear, deliberate, fierce and awake friend.....the lines you've written almost in meter - line breaks, spaces, dashes - your soul is showing: the poet has emerged. I'm not sure if you've written in this way intentionally, but, as I've commented in your last few posts, the lyrical language you've grown into is distinct from the decisive way you've communicated since I met you in back in the day. I walk in the halls of these lines with you, as you have opened a door for all of us to be, in this 21st century of limitless connection, with you. Your expanse has made room for us all. I love you so....
The grace and awareness you exude in walking this delicate path is both fierce and yet so incredibly delicate. Not many words, just a deep witnessing and a quiet reverence of your journey.
Sending you much love and light Stephanie.
♥️♥️♥️
Every post of yours is a gift to the world. A reminder to live with connection and grace every single day. Thank you Stephanie.
Thank you Stephanie, for this very intimate glimpse into such a sensitive and personal subject. I personally know many people who had a valid prescription to help them die but never used it. A kind of Plan B.
It has always puzzled me that the very loving gesture we offer our suffering pets, to shuttle them out of misery near the end of their lives is something that we take for granted but that to have that option for ourselves is somehow still fairly taboo. Thank you for adding to the conversation about this very important subject.