18 Comments
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Sarah Spaulding's avatar

Stephanie,

I found your posts shortly after my husband Chris was diagnosed with CF.

I immediately felt like, I want to meet this Stephanie, her words are salve to my being. Also, I soon learned that patients and caregivers can not know each other's path and grief.

Your post today on living with a clear view of the abyss touches me, especially because Chris and I are both rock climbers. For decades, we have trained our bodies and minds to think clearly and distinguish between fear and actual danger. Yet, it seems that the clear seeing that you descibe touches the wisdom of not-knowing. A clear view of the abyss and not knowing when we or our dear friends will fall.

I feel my body take a breath in and a deep release. I appreciate all that you are passing on to us.

In gratitude, Sarah

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Thank you for reading! I love the climbing metaphor and the not knowing. we learn to look straight at the abyss without pretending we know what comes next. Sending love to you both.

Sarah Spaulding's avatar

Duh, I mean he has ICC. The Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation (CF) is helping us immensely, beyond words.

Mark Cuthbert-Brown's avatar

No less than your strength through adversity, Stephanie, your ability to convey such beautifully written words and tributes to others are astounding! Stay as strong as you can for as long as you can - as always with love and with you in spirit, M xx

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Mark, this means so much to me ! you reading and walking alongside me after all these years. A little news: Adrian and I are planning to get to Rwanda later this year. Almost three decades away for me. It feels both crazy and right. With love always, S

Livinlife's avatar

Thank you for your beautiful words. I find myself not thinking deeply too much lately, as I find it adds to my worry about marching closer to the abyss. But reading your words allows me to deep think in a way that’s more cathartic. I love that picture of you two…and I’m so glad you both scampered away for a bit to do it. What a precious memory. 💚

Michelle Arregoitia's avatar

Sending you so much love Stephanie as you balance on that high wire of clear seeing.♥️

Holding you close at heart as you mourn kindred souls that have guided your journey and have shared this arduous path with you.

Only love indeed 💕

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Thank you dear one. Carrying these losses with a full heart and deep gratitude for those who walked beside me. Only love right back at you.

Michelle Arregoitia's avatar

It’s amazing how grace and gratitude can so beautifully infuse our hearts in these delicate and heartbreaking moments. 🙏💔🕊️

Amanda Wald Rachie's avatar

"... What remains is love with nowhere left to go ... "

"Only love. That’s what’s left when the fog clears."

Sending love to you and your beloveds, with gratitude for what you share so clearly from your heart.

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Thank you! Sending love and gratitude back to you and yours

Janice Bisson's avatar

Stephanie, your beautiful words are a gift. And your friendship was such a gift to those you loved and lost. Your example of living life with a clarity most of us can't see inspires so many. Thankful our paths crossed years ago. Thank you for sharing your writing with us. Sending so much love your way. Janice

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Thank you Janice !! I don’t always feel clear, but I’m so glad the writing lands. Grateful for you, all these years !! Sending love right back !

Hugh Aprile's avatar

Dear Stephanie, it’s so hard to find the right words to convey the gratitude I feel for your life, your survival, your writing. And the shared sorrow, for you, your friends. Sending you strength and love, and of course, thanks. 🙏

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Gratitude received and returned ! Thank you so much for reading !!!!

Amanda Haan's avatar

I love you, Stephanie.

Stephanie Kleine-Ahlbrandt's avatar

Love right back to you, always!!!

Amanda Haan's avatar

Love is the word when all others have been said. Your grief and perseverance remain that bold spotlight so we can see. Thank you for your deep respectful words that perfectly share your love.